Your husband will be developing a new identity. He is no longer the first baseman. But he can go to little league games with the family and cheer the neighbor's kids on. Whatever means the most to him can be adapted to give him pleasure even if only a spectator. He may not be rolling on the ground with his son however I'm sure he could invent new rough and tumble stuff to do while in the chair.
Be careful to maintain a balance of respect in your relationship. Don't allow him to take his anger out on you. Expect him to carry his share of the load. Be sure to notice when he is taking initiative or doing something to better himself. %26quot;I see you are rewiring that lamp.%26quot; %26quot;I see you are checking out occupational rehabilitation.%26quot; DON'T say I'm glad, that's nice, or anything else that even though positive, shows evaluation of his behavior. Noticing it will reinforce it and let him know you appreciate his efforts.
Sincerely ask his opinion. Talk over with him something that is on your mind. Encourage him to do whatever will extend his freedom like learning to drive an especially equipped van and manage a portable wheel chair.
I spent the weekend with a family who had a bed and breakfast. The husband was paralyzed from the waist down. The accident happened before they were married. He works out of his home office. Their 2 kids are teenagers now very mature, happy and well adjusted.
Get some help say from a church group to modify the doors and think about building a home in the future. It will give you both something to look forward to.How can I help my husband adjust to life in a wheelchair and help %26quot;chair- proof our home%26quot;?One thing to do is to rearrange furniture so that the chair can easily fir from one room to another. Change the drawers around so that things your husband will need in the kitchen are accessible to him. If you have the money, you might want to remodel a little so he can reach the sink, etc. As for the adjusting, it depends on what your husband was like. If he was very athletic, encourage him to join a wheelchair sports team. If he worked a lot, find odd jobs that he can still do or a hobby, so he doesn't feel useless. Sit down with your kids and explain that daddy might not be able to do everything he used to, but he's still the same old Dad. As for the playing, fun can still be had. They could play catch, or basketball.How can I help my husband adjust to life in a wheelchair and help %26quot;chair- proof our home%26quot;?This is the hardest thing to have to go threw i have been down that road,but with my kids grandfather.build ramps and make sure the house has plenty of space so it doesnt cause him to get upset when he is trying to move around.Your hubby will need to try to be the same man for your son,If his hands work then take him out to throw the ball,when he gets use to it he will be able to move that chair as he is running.Take walks with your hubby and put your son on his lapp.Getting your hubby to face it and move on will be hard,but if you think positive and dont treat him any diffrent then the day you met him,this will all work out,never let him get away with saying he cant do things.He is still the hubby still the dad,just some things will be harder to do.There are people out there with no legs and arms and they can do some emazing things,try researching on the computer about this stuff and you should find lots of help.God bless you all,stand strongHow can I help my husband adjust to life in a wheelchair and help %26quot;chair- proof our home%26quot;?Hopefully he still has feeling in his penis.....I bet a lot of guys will tell you if they couldn't feel their penis, they would pretty damn bitter. I know i would.. I really think it will takes years for your husband to adjust to something like that... All i can really think of is to get rid of rugs, and to give him enough space in between furniture to move freely. Also you need to install some of those bathroom bars that will give him support if he independently wants to take a bath/shower/use the restroom..How can I help my husband adjust to life in a wheelchair and help %26quot;chair- proof our home%26quot;?he will need psychotherapy. This is a tremendous blow, and will need help adjusting.
As far as phsyical get-around, consult an Occupational Therapist.
Put yourself in his shoes, he will need patience.How can I help my husband adjust to life in a wheelchair and help %26quot;chair- proof our home%26quot;?They should still go out and play every night. They can go for walks, toss a ball, play basketball, etc. Your husband is still his Dad and he can teach him a whole lot. Get a kid-sized wheelchair and they can have races. He can even join a wheelchair sports league if he's into that. Do a Yahoo search for %26quot;wheelchair sports%26quot; and you'll find a bunch.
Let him do as much for himself as he can. Don't be too helpful or overprotective. Let him know you're always willing to help, but don't take away his independence. If he wants to get a hand-operated vehicle so he can drive himself, be supportive.
Don't take it personally if he sometimes lashes out at you - anger and frustration is normal. Join a support group to deal with your own emotional issues.How can I help my husband adjust to life in a wheelchair and help %26quot;chair- proof our home%26quot;?Don't pity him, what ever you do. As far as the house, get rid of any clutter, try putting more space around stuff. Give him time.How can I help my husband adjust to life in a wheelchair and help %26quot;chair- proof our home%26quot;?i think that maybe you should get some counseling to help out with this....this can be devastating , and very hard to adjust to for both of you, maybe you can find some groups at your local hospital or counseling center that can help you both adjust to this.
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